Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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