i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
