Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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