Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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