this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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