Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
