whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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