At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
