i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
