Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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