She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
