We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
a search helicopter?!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
