I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
