i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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