I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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