I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
