Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
