I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
