a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He keeps bees of course he's weird
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
