woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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