Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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