That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
