Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You are the jesus of drinking
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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