Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
