dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We have so much sex to catch up on
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
