she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize