Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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