Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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