who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
