just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
