Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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