Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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