I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
