I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
