my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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