How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize