HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize