so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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