On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
