Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize