she was so not down for the gang bang
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
