can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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