then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
