I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
