he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
