Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
