Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
