And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
