New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
