Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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