I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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