Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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