return my video game
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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