found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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