We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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