I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
