My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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