I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
