Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
