Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
