Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
