Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Randomize
