If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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