Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
