We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
