..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
