I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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