yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's official drugs can't kill me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
