I wish I could teleport
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
