he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
