I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
