It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
